A L W A Y S
by kaaycie
Summary: "Forever and always," they would say. Only forever was such a long time... Akuroku for 8/13/2010


**Author's Note: **HAPPY AKUROKU DAY EVERYONE!After many, many months of this sitting on my desktop, I've finally stopped procrastinating and finished it! –happyspazz- This is supposed to be kinda like a series of drabbles that are loosely connected? They can be taken as individual "stories" though.

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, Axel and Roxas currently do not belong to us fangirls. Maybe next year?

* * *

~ A L W A Y S ~

"_Roxas," Axel tried. "Roxas, wait up!" _

_Roxas gave no sign of hearing him, and sped up. Desperately, Axel sprang at him and caught his arm. His grip was tight, almost to the point of pain, but Roxas neither cried out nor tried to wrestle away from him. When their eyes met, Axel almost flinched. Roxas' eyes were … (Cold. Cruel. Untouchable.) "Roxas! Please! Tell me! Why haven't you aged!"_

Heavy footsteps pounded down the street. Small flecks of blood stained the concrete below the shadowy pair, one supporting the other. "Come on Sora, hang on! We're almost there!" Roxas frantically glanced at his brother. The gash on his arm was still bleeding, but luckily there was no glass in it. Shit! If they weren't betrayed, this never would have happened! If he ever got his hands on that traitor… Sora gave a weak groan, and that prompted Roxas to speed up even more. He impatiently rang the bell, and there was a muffled yell of _I'm coming! _The door banged open, the perpetrator looking very grumpy, then surprised as Roxas muscled his way in, carefully setting Sora on a chair and hurrying to the bathroom to get the necessary supplies needed to treat Sora's wound. He whirled back into the kitchen, paying no mind to dazed malachite eyes staring at both of them, unbelieving. As Roxas fussed over Sora, dry lips cracked open, traces of sleep still lingering in his voice.

"Roxas?"

Aquamarine eyes widened imperceptibly. "There wasn't anywhere else that was safe. I'm sorry for barging in like this. We'll leave as soon as possible. I didn't think you would remember me…" Roxas trailed off. The smell of smoke hung in the air as Axel flicked the lighter on and off, creating a comforting and nostalgic rhythm from when everything was still easy.

Axel barked a short laugh. "Of course I remember you. You're a bit hard to forget as it is," A bitter smile hung on his lips. "You know you're always welcome here, got it memorized?" Roxas lowered his eyes. Somewhere along the conversation Sora fell asleep, and for that, Roxas was glad. He didn't need to know this… Roxas had almost finished bandaging Sora's arm, and wanted to leave, but he didn't want to disturb Sora. Wordlessly, he carefully scooped up Sora, and padded down to the guest bedroom. Roxas placed Sora on the bed, and turned to leave. _(It hurt too much for him to be here.) _Brushing past Axel on the way to the kitchen, he was careful to avert his eyes._ Tick, tock, tick, tock. _It was three in the morning now.

"You should get some sleep now."

"Shouldn't you? Don't you have work today?" Roxas moved to start the coffee brewer, snagging a mug out of the cupboard.

"Yeah, well… You're right, I should. Good night," _morning _Axel's mind corrected. "Try not to blow anything up, will you?"

"Oh, shut up. You're the pyro, not me." Roxas kinda missed the insults they used to share.

"True, true." He replied. Both of them had a shadow of a smile on their faces.

* * *

_Roxy—_

_I'm at work. Be back at 5. You know where everything is, right? Don't order porn on the TV. Try not to burn the house down too._

_Love, Axel._

When Axel came back, the kitchen was sparkling, the bathroom was spotless, and the whole house pristine. His note was gone though, and so were Roxas and Sora. Axel wasn't too sure if all of it was just a dream. It shouldn't be though. The same thing had happened countless times before… With a sigh, he strode to the fridge, intent on getting hammered.

* * *

"_Class, this is Roxas, the new transfer student from Destiny Islands. Be nice to him, okay?" The homeroom teacher was all smiles; a complete contrast to the new kid's scowling face. Axel smirked. With shiny, golden hair, bright azure eyes and a rather feminine face, a smile would suit him more. With any luck… There was something about him that made Axel want to __**break **__him._

* * *

Angry footsteps could be heard, along with calmer ones right behind them. Jewel blue orbs narrowed in irritation before whirling around to rest on the red haired menace behind him.

"Stop following me! What's your problem?" Roxas cried out. He was sick of the redhead always following him,** everywhere**.

"Why, Roxy, I thought you enjoyed the attention? Don't you like me?" Green eyes like poison mocked him.

"Don't call me that! And NO I don't like you or **your **attention!" The blond snapped.

"Ouch. You break my heart, Roxas." Axel laid his hand over his heart in mock hurt, eye's glittering with amusement.

Roxas sighed, turned around, and muttered, "But you've always said we're Nobodies. We don't have hearts, remember?" The wind gusted around them, throwing multi colored leaves into a whirling storm, and blew Roxas' quiet words away. No matter. He wasn't supposed to know anyway…

Axel ran his hand through his mane of spikes. "Sorry, I didn't catch that. What did you say?"

He scowled. Axel's sense of hearing was keen as ever. "Nothing. It's not important. Shouldn't you go back home or something? I was under the impression you have somewhere else to be."

"Oh, Roxy, didn't you know that where you go I go?" There was a shit-eating grin pasted on Axel's face, and Roxas wanted dearly to wipe it off.

They continued in silence for another block, and Roxas prepared to tell his leech it was time for him to go back home, when lanky arms draped around his small frame. With a cry of shock, Roxas tried wrenching away from him, but was slammed against the chain link fence, Axel's body flush against his.

"Hey, what are you—Let go of me!" Roxas struggled wildly, intent on butchering the redhead once he was free.

"_No," _Axel uttered. "No. Stop ignoring me."

Ignoring? Roxas was well aware of what he was ignoring, but chose to play dumb. "I haven't been ignoring you. Kind of hard to, the way you attach yourself to me." He let just the right amount of innocence and bewilderment seep into his voice and face.

Axel wasn't impressed though. It's been almost a year since Roxas transferred, and he still hadn't made enough progress. "Listen," he started, then scowled, as Roxas' eyes were averted. _"Look at me," _When Roxas still refused, he gripped Roxas' chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

Roxas started struggling again, as only one of Axel's hands kept him prisoner, but to no avail. For being so skinny he was almost anorexic, Axel was very strong. "Why can't you see what I'm trying to tell you?" Desperately, he pressed his lips to Roxas'.

To say Roxas was shocked was an understatement. Axel, his (no matter how unwilling on his end) friend, his **male **friend, was kissing him!

Axel's eyes slid shut. Shit! If Roxas didn't take the bait, then all this would go down the drain. Insistently, he pressed harder, when Roxas started kissing hesitantly back.

For a moment, Roxas forgot everything, the chill of the wind and bite of the chain link fence against his back, focusing only on the feel of Axel's lips on his, Axel's tongue asking for entrance, the pleasure he was experiencing. They broke apart from each other only when the need for air became too great.

"Axel—"

"Roxas," Axel lay his head on top of his, crimson on gold. "I like you." The die was thrown, now all he had to do was wait for the results.

"I—" Roxas tried, "I like you too…" That last part was nearly inaudible, the blond blushing furiously.

The die was thrown, and Axel had won.

* * *

Axel woke up with a groan. His head was pounding furiously, but he didn't remember drinking yesterday… Frowning, he tried to remember the events of yesterday, but only gleaned flashes of things. He went to school, went home with Roxas, and… Unbidden, disconnected images and sensations rose to the front of his mind. Roxas kissing him, pain, pleasure, skin on skin, heat, the scent of sweat and something else permeating an unfamiliar room. _Roxas' room, _his mind supplied. But he was in his room now, Roxas wasn't in the near vicinity, and he definitely didn't remember going home. Sighing, Axel torturously rose from his bed and staggered to the bathroom.

There was a bitter chill in the air, the trees lining the street desolate and bleak. Axel hurried to school, wanting to escape from the cold, his breath pluming in front of his face. Inwardly he groaned. According to his sudden amnesia regarding the events of yesterday, he didn't do his homework. He would probably get a week's worth of detention, along with a new pile of homework to do along with the amount he had yesterday. But first things first, he needed to find Roxas.

Axel was puzzled. When he tried to ask Demyx where Roxas was, he only looked at him funny, and asked if he was alright. He didn't have any luck with anyone else either. It was like they had totally forgotten about Roxas… But that was impossible. You don't just suddenly forget about someone you go to school with for almost a year. With his head down, deep in thought, he almost crashed into Zexion.

Once again, he asked if he knew where Roxas was, and wasn't expecting an answer. So Axel was very surprised by Zexion's answer.

* * *

Roxas was gone. Somehow, mysteriously, only Axel and Zexion remembered him. When Axel went to class, all his homework was done. He was sure it was Roxas who did it, but the writing was indistinguishable from his own chicken scratch. He had tried to go to Roxas' house, but couldn't for the life of him remember the way, despite walking there for nearly a year. Sometimes he would see a flash of blond, a glimmer of clear blue eyes, but whenever he tried to get closer it would always disappear. Sometimes he would think that Roxas was only an extremely vivid dream, but what are the chances of having a dream that lasted that long?

He had wanted to break the blond, but somewhere along the way, he almost broke himself.

* * *

Roxas knelt on the cold stone floor, not daring to glance at his mistress. He had failed that last mission, and now he would pay dearly for that mistake. But he couldn't do it, he just couldn't. Not after…

"Rise."

He hesitated for the briefest second, but that was enough for his mistress to be displeased. She hated when they showed weakness.

"Roxas, you will be…"

* * *

Axel exhaled, his breath turning into mist. Snow was falling softly around him, the ground illuminated by the glittering Christmas lights. Sure, the holiday's were wonderful, but not for Axel, as he had no one to spend it with.

Sighing, he looked without seeing, and crashed into a short blond.

"Roxas!" Was it really him? Axel wasn't dreaming, was he?

Roxas only looked puzzled at that, then understanding lit his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not Roxas. I'm—"

"Ven! There you are!" Two people, one with brown hair and on with blue, dashed to his side.

"Terra, Aqua," He acknowledged their presence, then turned back to Axel. "Well, Axel, I believe the one you're looking for is in that park where the pond is." With that, he turned around, linked his arms with Terra and Aqua, and strode off.

Axel's heart leapt at that. Was Roxas really going to be there? He rushed to the park, scarf flapping wildly behind him, a silly grin plastered on his face. However… how did Roxas' lookalike know his name?

* * *

Roxas nearly collapsed, his face stricken with terror. She couldn't mean…

Laughter could be heard, softly at first, then filled the hall.

"I… can't… believe… you actually… thought… I meant… that!" She was laughing unrestrainedly now, and Roxas timidly joined in. The shock still remained, but he was relieved to know it was just another one of her jokes. Sobering up, she put a serious face on. "Well, all joking aside, don't you have a date you should be going to now?"

Roxas tried protesting. "What about my punishment? I thought…"

"You're a thousand years too young to be asking me that!" She snapped. "You don't want to stand him up now, do you? I thought I taught you better manners than that! Now go! Shoo!"

Roxas smiled in gratitude. "Thank you." Just as he was leaving, a rather thick book was thrown at him. Without breaking his stride, he caught it easily.

"I think you should see this…" Her soft voice was filled with sadness and regret, a complete contrast to her demeanour moments ago.

Roxas gently peeled the worn pages apart; page after page of names standing in sharp relief against the white background. Suddenly, his grip slacked and the book thudded to the floor. It took all of Roxas' willpower not to collapse on the spot. How could this be?

"_Why?" _This one word was filled with pain and hopelessness.

"It's inevitable. If not now, then he will later. Would you like to do it?"

Roxas nodded. It broke his heart to do it, but he thought it might be better that way. Surely he would prefer it to be him than any other…

* * *

_Christmas was like a dream for Axel. He was just _so happy…_ Roxas had come and spent it with him. He had hoped that he would stay, but that was not to be… Because Roxas hadn't changed, not in all those years they've been apart, and Axel's prying cost him dearly._

* * *

Axel lay on a stark white bed in a room with stark white walls. He was deathly pale, and so thin you could see his bones. A beeping machine kept track of his vitals, along with another array of machines dedicated to keeping him alive. But he was just _so tired_, and life held nothing for him. But he wanted to see Roxas one more time before he left, and that was the only thing that kept him tied to this world. With a sigh, Axel closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless slumber.

He was awakened by a cool draft, a sudden sigh of wings, and soft footsteps tapping over to the bed. A warm hand was placed briefly over his heart; a butterfly kiss dropped on his brow. Moonlight streamed through the window, casting a silhouette with wings on the tiled floor.

"Roxas?" Axel's voice was raspy and riddled with sleep. "Is that you?"

"I'm surprised you still remember me." His voice, even after so many years, was still _so familiar…_

Axel strained to see Roxas' face. With the moonlight illuminating him, he was beautiful. _Heartbreakingly so… _

Roxas dropped in the chair beside the bed, and stared intensely into Axel's face. Now that he looked closer, Roxas didn't have wings at all. Had he just imagined them?

"Roxas… Can you tell me now?" Axel asked him wearily.

"Tell you what, silly? How would I know what you want to know if you don't tell me?" Roxas was smiling a little as he replied. That made Axel happy. It had been so long since he had last seen him smile…

He wanted for him to keep smiling, but his next question would surely make it disappear. "Roxas… Why haven't you aged?"

Roxas was still smiling, despite Axel's worries. "I guess it's time to tell you now. After all, it is the time now…" Axel looked puzzled at that, but Roxas only smiled cryptically.

"Well, ask away! We don't have all night you know!" His tone was lilting, teasing Axel.

Axel sighed. This was one of those games Roxas always loved to play with him. "Tell me, Roxas… Who are you really?"

With a wicked grin Axel knew only too well, Roxas slowly stood up. There was a swish of wings, and a blizzard of white feathers whirled through the air.

"Jesus, Roxas!" His heart thumped rapidly, the beeps increasing in speed to compensate.

Roxas only smirked. 'Well, take a guess!" He twirled around, clearly enjoying Axel's shock.

Well, he had wings, they were white, so naturally he would be an angel, right?

Wrong. After noting his observations out loud, Roxas' grin had only grown wider and wider before he burst into a fit of laughter.

Even though Axel was a bit disgruntled, he couldn't help noticing how utterly beautiful Roxas was. The way his eyes sparkled, his ever familiar laugh, the way his wings moved…

"The hour grows late. I really should get going now," Roxas sighed, the mirth gone from his eyes. "If I'm late again I'll never hear the end of it! I should really end this little game…"

Axel started. Once again, Roxas was saying things he didn't really understand. In the process of trying, effortlessly, Roxas would always disappear, and the crushing heartbreak would return.

"Roxas?" Roxas didn't show any sign of hearing him. He walked closer, wings rustling softly. Slowly, he bent over to whisper in Axel's ear.

"You're partially right. I'm an angel… an angel of death, that is." At that, Roxas pulled back, a sad smile on his lips. "I've been sent here to collect your soul."

Paralyzed, Axel only stared as two key like weapons formed in Roxas hands. As they were raised, the knowledge that he would die made him blurt out, "Let's meet again in the next life."

"Yeah, I'll be waiting." With some effort, Roxas smiled at him.

"Silly. Just because you have a next life…"

"We will meet again. I've found you this time, haven't I?"

For a moment, the curtains fluttered, moonlight creeping through to illuminate the pair.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading this! Hope you enjoyed! Reviews and constructive criticism is the butter to my toast!


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